You haven't been there in a while, now you go back....
At a young age, our minds use imagination in such a way we can make a place feel so magical. Sometimes growing up the magic leaves us and is once special place, is no longer so special. A place called Beddington, Maine has always been one of my family's top camping destinations. My face would light up as my father drove up route 9 up one hill and down the next. The route seemed so long with nothing but trees to look at.
The last time we went there it wasn't like it used to be. Arriving there things seemed gray. Not just the cloudy weather but it was literally like the place had lost its spark. Where we park our camper is actually behind the ONLY store on route 9 for miles. Full camper hookups and immediate access to ATV trails. When younger I think what made it special was the thrill of running up to the store to buy candy. Driving around the dirt path around the store on the wheeler.
The diner that is located on the back section of the store, always has had the best breakfast. That will forever hold a special place in my heart. The 60s style stools and booths, despite the people that work there who are incredibly dry, its a great place.
Now those same trails are old to me, I could ride them in my sleep. The trails further up the path however; bend and curve around streams, rivers and trees. Its beautiful. Rabit and deer encounters are very normal. That's the part that thankfully hasn't changed. I'm not sure that I'll go back again, not for a while. I don't want to lose any last magical feeling I have left for Beddington.
johngoldfineOctober 3, 2013 at 4:25 AM
ReplyDeleteAw, Ashley, you really really have to break a piece this long into shorter grafs. Apart from consideration from your audience, your writing improves if you think in paragraph-size chunks instead of sentence-size. Paragraphing is part of the deal a writer has with the reader, and it's not just one more dumb thing your fourth grade teacher tried to ram down your throat.
--from my 9/22 comment
So, how the heck about it? Can you reparagraph and repost this?
In other words, rewrite.
ReplyDeleteWhat they say: you can't go home again--it's never the same; everything is smaller, everything is grayer, everything is the same but terribly different.
ReplyDeleteThat contrast between then and now is your point, and if it were mine, I would have pushed that harder instead of giving us the last graf about what hasn't changed.