forgetting history and repeating it

 Beginning college I hadn't really known what I was getting into. I was planning on being the brave one and work every day and go to school.  I told myself that it can't be that hard. I set my schedule up and didn't realize that it got changed. I went to school 2 days a week and commuted there from over an hour away. Much to my chagrin I made it work best I could.

However once I got going it got harder and harder on me. I didn't get as many hours at work, was going broke and had to ask my dad for money. I hated asking anybody for anything! My dad always told me:

"You're young, you're not supposed to be worrying about money yet."He stated.

"Yes but I like money and I'd rather work." I said. Once I said that I could see the vexed expression on his face. I told him not to worry I was determined I was going to do both no matter how much it sucked! However in November of that fall semester I told myself, "never again." I was either going to live in the dorms or find an apartment. I did just that by my 2nd semester and 2nd year of college.


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August 12 2013: I called my adviser and set up my schedule. Knowing I was currently working a full time job of 50 hours a week and that it wasn't over until October. I had to commute once again. I decided to not to even think about it. "I gotta do what I gotta do." I told myself over and over again. I have 2 creative writing classes online, and a Literature class with the lovely Devin Wood on campus 2 times a week. So far it is going well besides getting pulled over this passed Tuesday for speeding. Almost criminal speeding might I add.

"I wont make up any excuses...I was speeding." I sadly said to the Sheriff. "I'm driving over an hour to class and I'm going to be late because of work this morning."

"Do you realize how fast you were going?" He boasted. "Almost 30mph OVER the speed limit."


"All I can say is if you give me a warning it will NEVER happen again." I was almost speechless. I knew I was in the wrong and just plain pissed off that I didn't slow down.


Situations such as this one I knew that it was going to be an interesting semester and it was only Week 2! Since I have about 13 more weeks of traveling twice a week, I guess I better tell my boss I HAVE to leave when I have to leave. So I'm basically repeating history. Doing something I told myself I would never do again! I have realized as I get older you have to do what you have to do, and a college degree is very important to me. Even if I land a hotel job that I don't even need a degree. (Which is the field I want to be in - Hospitality) I will feel satisfied that I have one anyways.

I got a speeding ticket my first year when I commuted, yet I was on the deans list and never missed any of my bills. This year my classes are even better and I got a warning for speeding. This must mean something right? Hoping its a great year. I'd like to say.... Never again. However next semester I will be commuting once again. I've always told myself I don't want to be one of those broke college kids who has a ton of money to pay back. I'm gona be one of those college kids who buys a vehicle all on her own, a truck at that. Works full time and makes deans list. No boyfriend either.... ;)

Forgetting history and repeating it... Only doing it better this time.