Mud runs

Big tall trucks. Mud and country boys. I think that's all a country girl can really ask for. Loud exhausts and smiling muddy faces. Vodka and cranberry only makes it more exciting ! This is literally the place to be this Labor Day weekend. I'm with my best of friends, my truck and sunshine. I couldn't be happier! Not to mention the fact that I'm not working.

I'm staying the night in the back seat of my truck. I can only imagine the hard leather seats on my back when might falls. Honestly though, maybe it's a weekend for no sleep. No sleep at least til the last engine roars, the last speck of mud flies and when the fat shirtless men yell "YEEEWWWW." That's when  you pour another. It's like a rednecks heaven .

I look down at my drink. All te ice has melted and there is a fruit fly floating around. I stare at it for a second then take a big haul off it and look again to see of its still there. It's not. I drink until its gone. Until the next bug lands. Protein right?

Time for the deep mud hole.
The best part!

Week 1 Part 3

1) Alone in a quiet room. What do you see?

        As I walk out on my balcony of my apartment and rest my toosh on an Adirondack chair I place my glass of Chardonnay on the small plastic table and my George Orwell in my lap. This chair isn't very comfortable but the fresh cut grass in the air, the smell of the salty ocean and the cool breeze brushing my cheeks make me forget that.

       What do I see? As I look out, I think about the beautiful panorama view I have. I am on the 2nd story of this building above every body. Feeling as I can oversee the entire property. In the foreground is my feet rested on another fold out chair. My glass of Chardonnay and my flower basket. The railing is obstructing my view however between the cracks I can see tops of cabins where guests stay over night. The roofs could use a little work but thankfully only I can see their tiredness. Beyond the cabins I see some of the tallest and healthiest of oak trees. I can only imagine in my head what they will look like come Halloween. Between a row of these trees is a rock wall all put together by two hands and a single mind. Graciously rested between two walls is a fire pit. Guests are loading it with wood getting ready to throw a flame onto it. Beyond the tree line of Pines is Penobscot Bay. Part of the Atlantic Ocean where Schooners travel from Belfast to Rockland on a daily bases. The ocean is the biggest form of relaxation in the mid coast.

Behind one of the trees I see a small sailboat, it looks as though its a 2 person boat. Imagine sailing with your loved one, floating at 2 knots around the bay.  The sky is a little cloudy over the ocean but directly above me I can see stars beginning to pop up throughout the sky. Night is falling near and the I can't wait to gaze at the constellations later this evening. Not only do I see the beauty of mid coast Maine, I see the perfect resort to getaway from your normal every day lifestyle.




2) Alone in a quiet room. How did you get here?

        I started work at Glenmoor by the sea 3 Summers ago. We are located in Lincolnville, Maine and we are a beautiful 14 acre 32 room resort. Each resort and inn needs an innkeeper. My previous boss Kathy has been the innkeeper here for the last 3 years. She had her faults and she had her moments where she really shined. She was let go about a month and a half ago so when she had to move out there was no innkeeper and no one overnight person that knew how to run the front desk.

         I have lived on my own for over a year now and had to move back into my parents. I found this as a great opportunity to live on my own again. I got the approval to move into the spacious 3 bedroom apartment that over looks the property. I think its fabulous. All linoleum flooring, pet friendly and the kitchen is immaculate.  Working and living here really got me to learn more about myself and truly know me for me. I began realizing how important my job was to me to the point where I didn't spend any time with my friends and family like I used to. I worked overtime hours because I wanted to and got really organized with my work. I got there on my balcony because I moved into the apartment which I once dreamed of living in. I am here because my boss was fired and I took on new responsibilities because I could handle them. I am here because I am trusted and dependable to always be here when I am needed. Though this is only my temporary home, I see accomplishments being made to be where I am today. So I am resting alone on this balcony over looking the bay.





3)Alone in a quiet room. But what's really happening?

        What is really happening here? I feel as though I am relaxing, drinking a glass of chardonnay about to crack into 1984. Yet I am really just waiting for my guest phone to ring. Waiting for someone to ask me for a room or ask me for an extra pillow. Sometimes what is really happening is I am pretending to have a little getaway of my own but I am really being screamed at by a guest as to why the television screen is fuzzy or why their toilet is clogged.
        This seems to be an every night occurrence for me. I'm not really relaxing on a balcony alone. I am really just waiting for someone to call me and disturb me. There is truly no time to have a drink. By the time I get back my glass it bug filled or tipped over because I got up too quick to answer the phone. Orwell will be there for me the next night. I will try again tomorrow.

However: In between the guest phone calls. I try and take as many slow breaths as I can. I breath in the cold evening air. Feel the breeze and forget about everything for once. I realize I just missed a phone call. What's really happening now is I am taking a second for myself. I need to breathe. Is this really what I want to do with my life at 20 years old? Not have one? This is no longer a nice apartment, this is a place squeezing more of my free time out of me day after day.

What is next to happen is me packing up my things and letting someone else do it.


        

Same day journal #4

Today I am writing 2 journals because of a comment made! :)
My job is something I could ramble on and on about. The interesting part is that at the end of EVERY rant I have about my work.. Comes peace, comes me ending with "but its beautiful and I wouldn't trade it for anything." Something along those lines.

Its a resort with 32 rooms and we are very short staffed. Its 16 acres and takes  a lot of work and time to maintain. Our guests thankfully always leave seeming very happy. This weekend is intense because the property has 4 investors whom are here for 3 days who have put thousands of dollars into it but have never seen it until 3 years later. Now is that ballsy or WHAT!?

We don't exactly know yet what their thoughts are on it just yet. There are a few minor details about this place that we have yet to inform them about. We may wait until they have a few cocktails later on. See whose heads are still left on their bodies come Sunday morning.

Its a place where I put in overtime hours every week to keep things running smoothly. I truly take pride in my work but feel as though it goes without notice. That occurs a lot of times in life however and what can we do about that besides try even harder or bring it up to your boss.

I am going camping this weekend and thankfully will not be on the property for the investors to decide whether or not they want to keep putting money into it, or if they are just going to give it back to the bank, which if that happens, I have no idea what is going to happen to me. Basically all my time and effort will be down the drain. Lets see what happens......

Journal post 3

What makes a good boss? Honestly I would like to know. I hear people all the time complaining about theirs and very rarely hear anyone saying anything good about them. I would like to say that at my job, the person I answer to isn't even the boss. The boss doesn't do their bossly deeds... At least not correctly. My mother is the general manager at the place I work and I answer to her. Not only because she is my mother but she expresses the care and hard work that a boss should have. She works a ton of overtime hours, always goes above and beyond and makes sure everyone here has what they need. The new boss that was hired doesn't even greet her employees or ask how things are going. Expresses no need to understand the front desk computer or how general operations run. In my opinion no matter how many things a boss has to do, they should have a full understanding of all the mechanics of a resort. Some days I just want to say how I feel about it all and leave and never come back. The most aggravating part of the whole thing is is that this new boss lady is getting paid double each week than I am and more than my mother is and we do more work than she does combined.... This is when I hate the saying.. "It is what it is." But it is what it is.

We still have 2 months left in the season that we are opening so I'm hoping things do not go further down hill than they already have! Its been one hectic work filled Summer I haven't done anything for myself. Work 50 hours a week plus college courses now. Lets see how this goes!

Journal day 2

Today is very exciting for me. This is my 3rd year attending EMCC and I have to say this place is like home to me. I lived in Bangor for about 8 months last school year so moving back to the mid coast was a little hard. Now I am only here on campus Tuesday and Thursdays. I wanted to still get the feel of being "IN"college not just taking all online courses. Besides the gas, this has worked out for me in the past. I am awaiting my first class and I'm not nervous just already want to get it over with! (It's literature-don't tell my teacher!)

Anyway, I am SO excited to drive to Orono this afternoon and go see one of my VERY best friends. I have not seen her since school ended last year. I'm honestly so happy. I think my online courses so far are going well. However two of them make me a little nervous. I live by "it is what it is" and I had to be set up with 3 English courses this semester...

Go me.

I am very excited for this courses however because I am a fast typer and writing comes easy to me, however I know that I still have things to work on and would like a better structure when I work, I think my class I am waiting for today will help. Looking forward to it.    :)

WEEK 1 Part 1 Journals

The idea of journals focusing on "here and now" can be such a self teaching experience. The more one writes about their current situation(s) you can realizes thins like "huh I can get through this." Or "I'm in way over my head." For me lately has been CRAZY! I am very independent and I'm pretty sure that's why I'm still single. I want what I want and I will work hard for it if I think its within reach. I recently bought a 2007 Lincoln Mark LT with a 5.4 300 horse. I am in love with it. It's white and for me it proves my hard work. I work right now about 45-55 hours a week and it pays off. I love and hate my job but don't feel like writing about that, gets me too worked up.

Anyways... being told that I have a nice truck at least 2 times a day, makes me smile. I know it's somewhat materialistic but I am happy and I believe that's what counts right? Having something to show for how far you have come I believe is very motivational to keep going. The payments are high and so is my insurance but I believe this will be a great experience. I did this all on my own, no cosigner, paying for it all by myself. I am 20 years old and it is a great feeling to accomplishing something I have only been dreaming of. It is only the beginning of a beautiful life ahead. If I have learned anything lately... It's to keep going because if one door closes, another one is about to open.

Off to bed, starting job #2 tomorrow and heading to EMCC for my one and only on campus Literature course! Adios!

Week 1 Part 1: Writers autobiography

week 1 part 1

 I:
I remember the day I began a journal. I was almost 8 years old and my 
birthday was fast approaching. I had to think about what I wanted that 
year and I kept changing my mind.

"Mom I want a computer this year."

"Dad I don't think a computer is that cool anymore... I want a four 
wheeler like all the boys at school."

I might have been a tomboy in elementary school but I didn't care. I 
always liked fitting in with the boys. I didn't however come to a 
conclusion in time and didn't end up with either thing. I believe it 
was the year I got one of those scooters that were so popular. During 
this whole time of deciding what I wanted; I began a journal. I wrote 
mostly every day for a couple of months. Boys were a topic and thinking 
back now I'm sure it was a new one each week.

"I think I am in love." One entry read. "He is so cute and I think he 
really really likes me! I hope he sits next to me at lunch tomorrow."

Yeah... what girl didn't write like that. Anyway; I remember my last 
entry all to well. It was a foggy morning with a few rain drops each 
falling harder than the last. These types of questionable mornings can 
leave you feeling as though something is wrong. Something indeed was...

That morning I had found out a loving family member was taken from us 
by is crazy... and I mean crazy, psycho, b$*&% wife...
My heart was so broken I couldn't even write how I felt truly I 
couldn't even write the words 'killed' 'stabbed' or 'dead' down on 
paper. It was like my hand was holding back. Every part of me was 
crying.  This was the last day I wrote in my journal. The next time I 
ever did was in the 9th grade; same sort of thing we are doing now 
except random and no theme.

I think I will enjoy this...

------
YOU:

"You never know what you've got til its gone."

What an interesting quote... Sometimes you know what you've got and 
you're just ready to let go.

Like lets say, your job. You go into work everyday with high hopes that 
you're going to have a great day and not let anything get you down. 
UNTIL your new "general manager" tells you to do things with a grouchy, 
rude tone you just want to SMACK her, tell her how you REALLY feel, 
maybe curse a little and walk out the door...but you don't have the 
courage yet to give up your paycheck.

So you suck it up day in and day out, working hard feeling like the 
time and effort you put in just means nothing. Quite discouraging if 
one says so.

You take a breath and go into the laundry room thinking that you are 
away from the wretched woman for 5 minutes until she comes in asking 
you why the printer isn't working, a question in which you believe a 
manager of a property should know, you have to turn it off; wiggle a 
few wires around and pray; that's how the printer works.

A deep breath or two, and 2pm comes and you sneak out the door and 
pretend you don't hear her yelling your name.

"Yeah you too!" You yell, pretending she told you to have a good day 
when she really told you she had more work for you...

PEACE!
-------

SHE:

She drives me INSANE! "She" is named Renata but her name even makes my 
insides quiver. She has been employed at Glenmoor by the sea for 3 
weeks, is getting paid an outrageous amount to make outrageous changes 
to the property. Not only that she fails to great her new employees 
each day merely walking by with a snotty expression.

Mind you she was given this job out of the blue without any of the 
employees who have been there for a couple years knowing. She's great! 
Not.

She sits in her Jeep talking on her phone for over an hour EVERY day 
like its some big secret. She has her own huge office in the back!

She is not going to last. She is horrible. SHE needs to go.